Tybee Jack on Tybee – April 2010

with Jack Boylston

Eat Mor Chiken!

It has been a while since I actually wrote something for the “Times.” Some of you probably noticed that my last two entries consisted of photos and postcards, but as the saying goes “a picture is worth a thousand words.”

Well, that’s not exactly my case; I just got lazy – zero creativity. At the same time I was deciding and mentally preparing to get a prosthetic placed in the lower part of my body. I, like a lot of folk always feel that you should try to fix something on your own before you let someone else do it. So the week before Christmas I got my present. So now with that completed and the weather is finally acting close to what it should, I’m here again. For now.

I’ve been reading and hearing a lot of  stories about “The Chapel.” I guess we need another place for folk to get married on Tybee. We’ve only got St. Michael’s, Trinity, All Saints’, Chapel By The Sea, the beach, the back river, boats, piers, parks, and maybe Wind Rose.  The list of reception venues is really small compared to the wedding venues though.   I did not even know that was the official name of that facility – the sign read “Tybee Island First Baptist Church,” but the Church lead me to thinking about an alternative plan if the weddings don’t go over well.

Now, many of you know that there are only a few Carolina Gamecocks living on the island; Jimmy Burke, Jill Miller, myself, to name a couple. Personally, not only do I love those prized chickens, The Gamecocks, but I truly love FRIED CHICKEN, so this is where I must begin. The only place on Tybee that I am aware of that you can get “F.C. to go” is at Tybee Market and that’s only up until it’s all gone. Not even sure if it is on the menus of our local restaurants. On Wilmington Island you can get F.C. at Publix and Kroger in a little box with plastic windows that has been sitting under a heat lamp all day. So I feel the islands definitely need an eat in and take out Fried Chicken establishment.

I know that the Jarrell’s have purchased the building and are planning to move it to Hwy. 80 East and turn it into a wedding chapel, but just in case that doesn’t work out, here’s my suggestion. Move it to the city owned property adjacent to North Beach Grill – since it is zoned commercial, turn it into another restaurant, but also a chapel. Call it “Tybee Island First Baptist Church’s Fried Chicken and Chapel,” and offer inside and drive-through services.

The drive-through would have a menu/order station so couples can order prior to driving up to window. The couples could get their wedding service and fried chicken service at the window. The “elopement package” would come with ceremony and choice of chicken. The “elopement package plus” might include flowers and 2 “Little Debbies” or “Moon Pies.” The “family package” would be on the drive-through menu and accommodate the couple plus 14 guests. They can pull up to the drive through, place their order, and be served the chicken (and cakes). While the couples are saying their vows, their wedding guests can be munching down on the F.C. in the comfort of their 16 passenger van.

The chickens could be brought in live the night before. At first light, they could be taken down to beach for some exercise in the ocean. The water will be absorbed into their skin so they’ll be naturally seasoned with sea salt. After exercising they will be herded back to the chapel where they will be prepared for cooking before noon. No other restaurant could brag about the freshness that would come with same day sea salt preparation.

I might note that rehearsals could be offered with the same packages but only chicken fingers and wings would be served.   Nancy told me I was “losing it” by writing this article, but I just could not “CHICKEN OUT.”  I only hope no one out there finds this offensive. I helped start a joke in 1987 called the Beach Bum Parade and a lot of people took offense at it, too.

So as Chick-Fil-A says, “EAT MOR CHIKEN!”

Tybee Jack

PS: This year’s Royal Beach Bum Court has now been chosen.  Congratulation to Grand Marshal, Burke Day! Here’s a couple of clues about our Beach Bum Queen and Big Kahuna: She’s a fabulous bartender, and he’s the best “tree man” on the island!  Better get your parade applications in. See you at the Coronation on May 12th at Marlin Monroe’s on Tybee.

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